22 things from turning 22
I turn 22 soon. I have written 22 reflections from my 22nd year of life.
Most people are trying, all the time, to reconstruct their reality. For the most part to make it better, richer, more of what their preferences are. People want their cravings to be fulfilled so they will try to make it happen. This can explain a lot of behaviours you observe.
Figuring out your life is an impossible task. It is so undefined, imprecise, that you have no idea what it looks like or if you've achieved it. It's better to let go of this idea.
Most people would like to keep in touch with their friends, but most people suffer from proximity bias. If you're not in their immediate vicinity, people have a habit of forgetting about you.
But if the first part is true for your friends, then you should just reach out if you'd like to stay in touch. Perhaps even use a spreadsheet.
Melatonin supplements are amazing.
You can just do things. You can go out there and find the people you are looking for. You can make events you want to see in the world happen. If something is stopping you, you can find a way around it, and at some point it may be clear that nothing is stopping you.
Lots of people say you've got to be uncomfortable to learn. But what is it that you're actually learning? Seems to me that it's the ability to deal with how loud your mind will get when you're uncomfortable.
You can feel compassion for everyone. People who fervently disagree with you, people who shock you, people you love, and everything in between. No one is beyond your compassion even if for some reason you don't think they deserve it.
Asking people out, and stating romantic and sexual preferences does not have to be a big deal.
Being vulnerable does mean you open yourself to being hurt. You don't just get to be vulnerable and always be appreciated for it. Sometimes saying the vulnerable thing will hurt you, and that is fine.
Time and reality are just continuously flowing. Everything has a tendency to segment time into distinct chunks, but this is basically made up.
No community is perfect. There will be systemic flaws, cultural issues, and collective blind spots. Recognising these is helpful for seeing your communities for what they are and enjoying them for that and that alone.
Karma by Lush is the best perfume to own.
No one doesn't appreciate a handwritten card or letter.
Speedy BOSH! is the greatest vegan resource.
Loving yourself might be the greatest challenge the human condition faces. Our own wounds and flaws are so evident to us, to have the self-empathy to heal them might just be a lifelong trial.
No one is too smart for you to talk to. No one is too dumb for you to talk to.
Take more pictures.
Humanity faces great peril, and yet you must plant your apple tree. You can enjoy this life even if it all crashes and burns tomorrow.
Take iron and B12 supplements.
Caffeine withdrawal sucks.
Resistance training is great! Having muscles is great!